Thursday, October 4, 2012

Just some thoughts

After reading an article on feminism by a fellow Bruneian (which I suggest you read) I feel so useless and stupid. Every article I've ever read, by women and girls of all ages, older and younger than me, everyone has enlightened me on the subject more and more which I am grateful for but I feel like I don't have much to contribute to the world of feminism or even the world in general. Everything I've ever thought of has already been said, and not only that, but in an eloquent and articulate manner that I can't ever achieve (in the near future anyway) and it's like these people have pulled out the words right out from my mouth and worded them a hundred times better. Everyone's writing that I have read makes them sound like they're experts on the subject and some have the right amount of humour to balance the seriousness, which makes it entertaining to read but still providing enough information.

An extract from an article that I recently read on Rookie:
As a feminist, my job is to argue that women are people. And here’s the thing about people: in my experience, when you get to know them, they’re all pretty screwed up. At the very least, they’re imperfect. And I think our feminist characters ought to reflect that.

At its best, feminism argues against the impossible standards created by the patriarchy for women, standards none of us can ever live up to, and which keep all of us in a state of permanent insecurity. But at its worst, feminism can create impossibly high standards, which make us even more guilty when we fail them. We have to be strong and independent! But also sensitive and empathetic to the needs of others! And also in touch with our sexualities! But not dependent on our sex appeal and/or male approval! We must own and reclaim our vulnerabilities and femininities! But also, we must not be emotional or personal or frivolous or soft, you know, like girls are! We must love our bodies, even in a culture that works nonstop to make us hate them! We must also love other women, even in a culture where women are raised to compete with and distrust one another! And we must love feminism! All the time! Even though we are exhausted now! From trying to live up to it! And, most important: we can never, ever, ever be wrong.

This describes exactly how I feel. Compared to the rest of the population, I feel naive and unaware of most of the problems even though I am constantly trying to educate myself on these things. I've never experienced misogyny like other women and girls have so I can't say much about that topic. It's frustrating because I've always felt passionate about this movement. I want change, I want equality -- not just between genders but between everyone else as well, I want to be a part of this change and be one of the reason for this change. I've always felt like I have so much to say, and I'm always afraid my opinions might be wrong -- which is a dumb thing to think of -- or that someone might challenge my views and prove me wrong. Maybe I'm just intimidated? Maybe I'm just inexperienced? Maybe I just don't know how to express my thoughts properly? Maybe I'm just overwhelmed? I have no idea but I am learning as I go.

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